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The Illusion of Choice [28 Jul 2007|01:35am]
If I were to give you the choice, between having a slice of delicious cake, and being punched in the stomach, what would you chose? For most of us, the choice of the cake is pretty obvious. After all, not only do you avoid the pain, you get to do something pleasant (assuming you like to eat cake). It's a pretty straightforward question, yet, I think it yields a subtle and terrifying implication.

If we really have choice, free will, whatever you might want to call it; wouldn't such a choice really be more ambivalent? After all, I could choose to be punched in the stomach if I really wanted to, or could I? When I think about it, I would never choose the pain over the pleasure, not if I had the option. Though, that's peculiar given a choice system, saying that I can never do something given the choice. But how can that make sense? If I have a situation where I will never choose one of two options, what actually makes it a choice anymore? I will never do it. Why? Because I hate pain. Why? It's an unpleasant sensation. Why? I'm not sure, I was born/raised that way?

And here in lies the quandary:
The basis of my choice resides in external or inherent influences on my psychology. Meaning, the reason I chose such an option was because of events outside of my control that affect me in a way that I had no control over. Meaning, I had no choice to choose the cake.
It seems to me that we are not actually dealing with a system of choosing so much as we are residing within an illusion of choosing

What's significant about this is if we can view the incentives of any particular person within a situation of decision, we can predict the outcome always. Since the incentives of people are often complex, and sometimes unknown by the person herself, in practicality we can only make educated guesses. But, the closer we come to understanding such incentives the more we can predict the future of others and ourselves. Sometimes this can be very difficult to see because the incentive acting upon the person is highly conceptual, abstract, or we simply cannot empathize with it.

In a more useful sense, we can use incentive schemes to attempt to understand 'truths' that would otherwise be outside of our reach. As a caveat, this is also the basis of conspiracy theories, but I will contend that it is still the most reasonable way to view something that you have no choice but to participate in; say, elections.

In example, Hillary Clinton, while historically being a staunch advocate of universal health care, is the largest recipient of campaign donations from health insurance companies on the Democratic ticket. While the truly wise thing to think about this would be that since we cannot really know what she is thinking or what is going on, we should not make assumptions about her philosophical and political views from this. Yet, if we are voting in the primaries for the Democrats, we must have something to base our vote on, and we will never know what politicians actually believe. In a basic understanding of the incentives working on her, we can suppose that those large donations will cause her to ultimately go against any system that hurt her donors. After all, they are her supporters, and they are giving her plenty of incentive to help them back. Indeed, it is reasonable to assume that based on the way companies and company owners behave, that any money spent is done so out of the hopes of gaining more money.

Though, if to my chagrin Hillary wins the primary, I may have no choice but to vote for her.

And now, your moment of Zen:

5 Thoughts| Contribute a Thought

Subjecting subjects to subjectivity. [18 Jul 2007|02:59am]
[ mood | >:3 ]

When I really want to write is always when I really need to go to sleep. That is, around 2-4am, where I am already up too late.

So, instead of writing what I actually want to write, I talk in snippets about how I never am writing, perhaps metawriting. I do not proclaim to be a writer, and I take fastidious care to write so complexly as to never convince anyone otherwise. Though, a writer is just someone who writes, and in a less literal sense, someone who is paid for it. After all, being a writer does not seem to connote actual skill, but perhaps a certain connection to the spirit of writing, which is now a very romantic word for the hegemonic 'publishers.'

There is a certain sadness that is felt by anyone who sees something referred to as 'art' when it is manufactured for a profit. Somehow profit, or the drive towards it, ruins at least what 'good art' is believed to be. It makes eminent sense as a business model, but I think it speaks to the truth that money is aesthetically and emotionally meaningless. I'm not saying that money is bad, actually, I'd enjoy making a lot of it if I could. No, it just seems that to really desire something like money is antithetical to desiring art.

My thought is pretty simple: if you hold money as a top priority, any benefit beyond yielding more money is of mere consequence. Indeed, the point of anything that calls itself a 'business' is to focus mainly on generating revenue. Though, this raises a curious question since most organizational bodies in this country that have any clout are businesses. If most of human energy is expended to generate more money, then is most of what we value--which is rarely money--merely of consequence? Is our ability to grow and learn secondary to our utility?
But isn't our utility derived from further growing and learning?

A paradox, perhaps a tragedy.
Work on, then sleep.
I'm tired.

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Drugs etc [01 Jul 2007|02:14am]
[ mood | drained ]

I've never much fancied the use of drugs as a recreational activity; it never actually seems very enjoyable.
On their first intake people cough, choke, wheeze, and make grimaces equivocal to that of people eating spoiled meat. Then the 'trip' or 'high' can go up into the lofty clouds just as easily as it sends one into the pits of despair. As well, any passing thought can become a long and sustained episode, and with time and commitment, this erratic mood can continue ad nauseam.
Of course, I remember that people don't really use drugs for the sake of using drugs, they use drugs to forget.

I wish I remembered more.

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Nothing to see [24 Jun 2007|02:28am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's too late for me to write much, but I wanted to at least say that I've been thinking about writing stuff and I might actually do some of that regularly.
The problem is that it just takes me so long to elucidate my thoughts into coherent words. What's worse, because I don't really have a readership I have to think of some fulfilling reason to actually do this.
Satisfaction: such a wistful and distant romance.

5 Thoughts| Contribute a Thought

... [31 May 2007|02:21am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

What is it, hallowed man, that speaks to the divine? Is there no love for the aesthetic, the pleasures of the material or the perceivable? Clearly what we desire does not exist, though, the desire itself does. To create such a desire, is that what it is we are searching for?

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[25 Jul 2005|09:27pm]
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Yeah, take it! [16 May 2005|04:05am]
[ mood | devious ]

For those of you that either doubted me or thought I was ridiculous when theorizing about the idea.


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LINkAGE yo! [29 Apr 2005|01:09am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

So, I think many of my friends have left me for Guild Wars. Those damn temptable necromancer wenches!
I will most likely join the bandwagon, though only if team Valentine love smooch doesn't get to me. Yeah, you know what the FUCK I am talking about.

Anyway, I posted something on my favorite link database http://www.linkswarm.com. It was in response to this disturbing article about what is happening to PBS:

What "left" and "right" are can be rather equivocal in a complex political spectrum.
It's interesting that since the USA is functionally a two party system that just about every perspective gets associated (somewhat inaccurately) to one of the two sides.
For instance, socialism tends to get associated with liberalism; despite that it has little to do with liberal ideas.

But what is really interesting is how little these two parties seem to be concerned about ideology. It's all about power. This SMALL group of republicans (note, they don't even represent the whole party) is attempting to control the government by EXPLOITING the large group of conservative and religious people in America.
And what is the most fundamental power one can have over a nation?
Controlling information!
This is specifically why freedom of speech/religion/etc is the first and most important amendment of the USA constitution.
This is why when ANY group of people seek to control/censor our media (public no less) it is a threat to our happiness and freedoms.

THIS is why when the public's best secondary source of information in the country, news networks, are controlled by the political ideology of the few, we are in terrible danger of losing our democracy!

What better instrument against tyranny is there than the well informed voter?

I'm a fan of public media, for the record. Originally, when PBS was implemented, we were going to have a tax on every TV set sold to help fund it, like the British do. Of course, that was dropped (those evil taxes!), and thus the indebted PBS was born.

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POOF [25 Apr 2005|05:08pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

With lack of anything interesting to write about other than continuing on with my angst-filled banter, I've decided to simply link/post some stuff.

From www.TruthOut.org

-- House majority leader Tom DeLay called lobbyist Jack Abramoff one of his "dearest" friends. DeLay is under investigation for accepting a lavish trip to Scotland's famous St. Andrews golf course paid for by over $70,000 in money from lobbyist Jack Abramoff. When asked whether he had ever crossed the line of ethical behavior, he gave an answer that could come back to haunt him. "Ever," he said, "is a very strong word."

www.TheToiletOnline.com presents "Leave it to Bush," short flash animations using actual audio compilations to make strange scenes.

Episode 1: http://www.thetoiletonline.com/leaveit.htm
Episode 2: http://www.thetoiletonline.com/leaveit2.htm

From an article by Molly Ivans (http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0425-24.htm)

--On general strategery, the President [Bush] said, "The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forward to describe the location of the holes, is to give clues and data." And he uttered these profound words of wisdom: "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."

A quicktime (*.mov) movie of John Bolton (the president's U.N. rep. candidate) talking about the United Nations.


That's all I got.

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In lack of a better sleep [12 Apr 2005|03:28am]
[ mood | distressed ]

Have I mentioned my distaste for sleeping?

The last couple of nights I simply haven't been able to get to sleep. Generally I have work to be done that I simply cannot get myself to do, and I'm trying to get myself to do it.

This sounds silly.
That I'm sitting here writing a Livejournal entry (something of which I can find laborious in itself) instead of finishing up work that would have probably taken me under two hours (of which I had plenty of time to work on it) is a statement to how bizarre this really is for me.

I think I've forgotten -how- to do work, and I'm not sure where exactly this came about. It's not like there's been a particularly long point in my life for the last 4 years that I've been out of work.
It's strange, I mean, I really don't understand it. I'm sitting here, thinking about moving and getting the work to be done, but I simply don't move. Also, this has happened to me waking up in the morning.
The alarm goes off, I wake up, and I think repetitively to myself "get up!" But alas, my mental capacities seem to be disconnected from my body at some level.
I literally, and not in any sort of exaggerated manner, seem to momentarily forget how to do things like getting up, much less starting a paper or something.
Furthermore, this has -really- hurt me this semester in particular. I'm not even sure how to react to this.
I almost appear to be apathetic, yet I can't seem to relax, even when I'm not thinking about anything.

Most perturbing.

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Blue skies, grey mind [08 Apr 2005|11:51pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Today, I was bothered by the lack of symmetry in my face again. I've met people who have both confirmed and denied its importance. In the end, I think perhaps I will simply strive to be less bothered by it (who knows).

What else bothers me?

Well, besides the adventures of Tom Delay and the Incredible Popeman, my troubles seem to come from a couple of sources.

Here are some options:

-Academia (and my lack of motivation towards it)
-Women (or lack there of)
-Concerns of my immediate future
-Dreams (or lack)

Now, my physical concerns may stem simply from my concerns about women. Honestly, it's hard to tell sometimes what I even think about myself, let alone others. Often I am leery of being complimented (about anything), especially when the compliment is so apt to fit the "right" moment. What I mean by that is that I seem to be painfully aware of when it is a good time to compliment someone to make them feel better, regardless of sincerity. It's not like I mention anything about my noticing of this, as to deny the compliment of someone trying to make me feel better would only prompt him to be more stubborn about his original assertion (depends).

More complexly, I find myself unmotivated to compliment others. I really -hate- giving a compliment when I'm not wholly sincere about it, but I find that I am often not excited enough about most things to mention something complimentary about them. Additionally, while I like to be honest, I also can't handle telling someone how bad he/she is with something! It's an issue that I wish I could get over more easily...

I'm troubled, and while I seem to know why, I don't really seem to fully grasp it. I think about things, but then I don't; I desire things, but then I'm apathetic about them; I seek fulfillment, but then I do nothing fulfilling; I want to be with people, but then I isolate myself; I feel I'm good, but then I'm depreciatory towards myself... My list goes on, but the point is clear.
I suppose I can only start with what I know affects me (my little options list), but those have been life struggles for me. I'm just not sure what I specifically want anymore.

I just want to feel a bit better.

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Enter the Apathy [04 Apr 2005|08:13pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

TODAY I pondered upon a feckless melancholy.

Perchance, I have gone to the limits of my decadence, yet it could possibly be the mere beginnings! Oh, how frightful my existence could be! But alas, despite my awareness of this ominous foreboding, I find my fear of it is about as motivating as Bush's talks about social security.
Of course, I'm merely reiterating what I mention in just about every journal entry I write.
Do you know why?!

Because I really don't like doing what I do; perhaps that's conceited of me.

I made a new icon yesterday, if anyone by chance noticed. I like the white/blue hair personally. The larger picture of it is on my thefacebook.com profile, but there is little care!

All I want to do right now is some arty stuff, but all I have to do is this school work. I never can get myself to start, so worrisome...

Why is my time so fleeting?!

Why do I write in this strange manner as of late!?

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You think you have me? You think not! [03 Apr 2005|09:58pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Woeful villains!
You read my writings with contempt and anguish.

Today I discovered that there are a lot pretty good artists on deviantart.com that really don't draw anything interesting. I mean, there are these people with just awe-inspiring (to me) artistic style, yet they tend to draw homoerotic megaman pictures; littered with comments about how BAD their artwork is and fitting in the terms "^_^" and "LOL" as many times as possible into a sentence.

Oh, if only I could somehow manipulate these gentle knaves into the grips of my own artistic ambitions. However, I feel that with their own pseudo-popularity and possibly petulant personalities that it would be a difficult task to beguile said artists to my own ends. Not to mention that they are plenty busy writing Link on Cloud fanfics and listening to Linkin Park.
Of course, what is even more curious is that I feel some desire brainwash random internet artists. I suppose I find myself thinking about all the cool things I really want to draw from my mind, but in no way have the talent/skill to even closely represent what I imagine. It's really quite frustrating. I simply have no command over the pencil. Dumbfounding curs!

If only I had the motivation to do schoolwork, then maybe I could find another reason to be angry with myself for a change. I mean, I'm really getting bored of being upset at myself for this whole school thing. It's like yelling at a wall!
I keep telling myself, "You know, this is just so trite. The not doing homework thing, again? I mean, come-on. It's just not quaint anymore."

Where is the meaning?!~

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NOOooooOoOOoOYes! [30 Mar 2005|04:06pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Today I'm doing a little contemplation on the value of THINGS. Perhaps you've heard of the subject matter of which is in question, or perhaps you're simply some variation of kumquat; in TRUTH there is little I can do to discern.

They, in the most basic sense of the word, are a plural form of the word THING.

HA, I see you're not following what I'm getting at. That's because... I am getting at nothing. In fact, in truth, and in Minnesota, I am simply writing the first tangible sentences that are coming to MInd.

Do you know wHY? Because of the intercontinental complexities of the universe of my room are silent to mY senses, and because I am in a peculiar mOod.

Contemplation (To the POWER of the MOONx4000): I am thinking of starting a blog with blogspot, as they allow free photoblogging. The DOWNSIDE is that the network isn't as complex as that of LiveJournal's. Of course, I never made use of that network ANYWAY, so it's not big deal.

Another contemplation (NOw with vitamin D): Trying to making a strict schedule so I can get enough sleep (I am apperantly FRAGILE, yet I am not really WEAK. PERHAps my super power is being easily offended by odors and being tired a lot.)

Did I mention I dislike cheese? ANOTHER POWER! I AM GODLIKE!

Currently my tombstone reads, "Dissatisfied, please add 25cents."

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That about wraps it up. [24 Jan 2005|12:25pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

You know, there's a perfectly good reason I don't write in this. I simply have no incentive to do so as the writing itself isn't a particularly joyful process.
Most of the posters that comment in my livejournal fall into a few groups:

1.) People that are on my friends list and I know in person that make nonsensical, irrelevant, or otherwise inane commentary on the single least important part of a given writing.

2.) Anonymous writers that simply spend their time perusing random Live Journals who are more than eager to argue with me about the same topic group 1 comments on who won't even so much as give me a screen name to refer to them.

3.) People I know in person whom may or may not have their own livejournals whom, for whatever reason, post anonymously and don't even so much as leave a screen name. These posts range from interesting and relevant to simple expletives such as "BOOBIES!"

4.) The occasional person that treats the comment section in my livejournal as an extension of his/her own. These posts sound like some strange inner-monologue and would actually make more sense as a new post in their own livejournal than as a completely unrelated comment in mine.

5.) People that write interesting and at the very least complimentary posts. Recently this species has gone on the endangered species list and scientists speculate possible extinction in the xiin livejournal habitat.

In other news, eXeem is stupid.

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Writing can suck it. [13 Dec 2004|10:53pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I write in here today because I have little better going on. That's not to say that I am lacking things to be doing, of course.
Well, today I bought some food and bought some happy bread, which I have to usually go out of my way to find.
I just need to finish two papers and do some studying. That's all I really need to do this week (well, besides take tests, but I don't count those as activities for some reason). I can't get myself to write anything, however. Why I struggle so much to start a damnable paper, of which I have written many, is beyond me. Well, I know why I am hesitant to write papers, but I'm not particularly sure why I am this resistant.
This goes back to my eleventh grade of high school. It was draining; I didn't really sleep and I took a lot of difficult classes. It was the point in my life that I hit an academic breaking point. It was if my motivation for school since kindergarten was completely used up by that point. I've been doing mediocre in school ever since. Actually, I almost didn't want to go to college and it took me a really long time to get my college applications done. Most of the places I applied to (I think they were all under Ivy League status) rejected my application, which didn't really motivate me any further. So, I barely slid into a college that I knew little about, and was at the bottom of my list (I applied to about 7 schools). In retrospect, I should have gone to the U of Minnesota my first year (my grades were good enough straight out of high school)... So, I get into this lame college in Bloomington, Illinois, and have a perfectly miserable time for half the school year. Well, there were a lot of things going on then, but regardless I ended up doing fairly poorly my first semester. My second semester was better, but I did particularly poorly in one class so it brought me down again.
Anyways, after a transfer (the school that accepted me was at the bottom of my list again), I just seem to be ending up in places that don't seem to fit me. I'm not sure whether I just dislike all the inane work that one gets in undergraduate, or that I'm really just not finding my niche, either way, with my continued mediocre grades it's not like I could go some place potentially "better."

What was I talking about? *reads back a bit*

Oh yes, anyway. I feel like I'm running on fumes of motivation since my burn out in high school. It's just all so unrewarding. My sister recently graduated from Hamline, and she can barely find a job that pays more than $10 an hour. I mean, putting thousands of dollars and hours into this "schooling" only to find that McDonalds will now consider your resume is a bit... tiring.

I hear people always talking about "the value of life," and "we must preserve (human) life" and "life is a miracle." Yet, when I live here it doesn't feel as though life is inherently valuable or even special. I constantly feel as though a dollar value, or a grade, or a judgment is put on me by everyone; I know I do.
I'm 20, white, attractive (?), upper class, about 155 pounds, ACT score 25, GPA about 3.0 , single, etc, etc...
That's it, that's all I am in the grand scope of our social interplay. Future schooling, jobs, and people will mostly be based off of that simple sentence. And yet I don't feel as though there is anything really valuable in that statement and more importantly, I don't care about anything in it.
People change all the time too. People keep quoting this statistic that an average person makes 7 major career changes in their lifetime. I kind of wonder why colleges force people to major, since it's likely that I just change what I'm doing anyway.

I'm out of energy for writing this; it's no longer even coherent. I'm just angry with myself, that's all. I just want to get my fucking papers done.

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I am suffocating. [07 Dec 2004|09:01pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

I would say that I am on the verge of never posting here again, were Live Journal not completely free.
I don't really have anyone in my friends list that really posts much anymore, and I don't really feel compelled to find new friends. I'm never really in the mood to write in this, and when I do, it is usually a form of my usual procrastination.
I'm sick of reading those damn quiz things people keep posting in their journals as if someone actually gave a damn about their utterly meaningless results. I would honestly prefer a single sentence posted over one of those quizzes. Well, people can do what they feel like in their free and ill-read Live Journal entries, but as fair warning my friends list is no longer going to tolerate inane, multi-choice dribble.
Not that anyone cares. Most people, despite whether they have a LJ account or not, post anonymously regardless; of which almost none of them even bother to put a screen name. Depending on whether this keeps up, or if anyone even reads my LJ anymore, I may disable anonymous posting. Why do I announce this? Because I have nothing else to write, really.

On the other hand,

I think I may go completely crazy. Things that I need to work on in no particular order.

  • Exercise!

  • I need to join something or do something before I go crazy!

  • Sleep better.

  • The biggest cause of my procrastination is my constant exhaustion (there may be a few causes for this, but I'll start with the readily fixable ones)

  • Plan out food stuff.

  • I think I should try to start being economical with meals eat out less.

  • Conquer Lust.

  • Well, no plan as of yet, but it's on the list.

  • Improve drawing skill.

  • A difficult task, but only because of time involved.

  • Improve flexibility.

  • Part of exercise, but notable enough for a spot on my list.

  • Find more friends.

  • No idea about that one...

  • Create more story boards for the nameless comic by Keely and me.

  • I've actually written the basic idea for the next handful of comics. Now it depends on whether or not Keelor feels like drawing any more of it.
  • Christmas Shopping.
    This weekend, I must!

  • Conquer internet browsing habits.

  • While more interesting than people, spending many hours with it makes me feel icky and I can't really talk with it. I can't hug it either.

  • Stop not doing homework.

  • I just… uurrgghh!

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Update, but not really. [21 Nov 2004|11:46pm]
[ mood | horny ]

I think I'm going to depart from my usual intellectual bombast and state merely of my happenstance:

-I am boooooorrrrred

In other considerations, I have been continuing my journey to improve my sesquipedality as well as my general understanding of the english language, not to mention unlocking the secrets of the universe. Of course, I also wouldn't mind getting laid on the side, but that's a terribly complex issue as what I am really searching for is a stable institution of love that sex would simply be a strong bonding point in. Well, the word "searching" would lead to a misconception as I'm truly drowning in my own passivity.

I might as well go eat some EmOs.

I think that this Thanksgiving weekend I will do some stuff. Stuff that will help me unwind after last week.
Yes, to the stuffening.
That is, if people can fucking stop reprehending my eating habits out of ignorance.

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Sleepy politics [10 Nov 2004|09:17pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

I've been reading everyone else’s posts and almost everyone has made a comment about the election, except myself. I mean, I don't know if my opinion is as educated as the rest, but I feel it's necessary for me to make political commentary as many of my more pertinent posts have something to do with the like.
I've been hesitant to write anything not only because I've been very busy with school, but also because I've been waiting for things to settle down and information sources to pick up on what is really going on.

To be blunt, I was aggravated. Not because a little more than half of the voting population disagreed with me for perhaps less than educated reasons, but because of the attitudes of certain people.
Kerry, almost a day before losing in Ohio, called Bush up to personally concede the election. I read the article that first had that information on the web over a couple of times in disbelief. Then I read another article, and then a couple more about the same topic just to make sure I understood what went on. It was true, he actually (though technically unofficially) gave up before he lost possibly the closest election in our history, mind you, only the unofficial vote count has been finished.

It boggles my mind to even contemplate what was going on in John Kerry's head. He put what almost seemed like a year of hard effort, as did many people in his campaign (not to mention huge volunteer organizations like moveon.org), to actually give up before he really even knew he lost. I feel pretty insulted for voting for him, like it was a waste (though, the electoral college pretty much makes my vote somewhat unimportant anyhow). Even if he was a bastard and the election was vaguely unimportant to him, he could at least have at least pretended to care just to give some respect to his supporters.
I may be done with the democratic party, at least on a federal level. Not only are they only marginally different than the current republican party, but they appear will-less and are pushovers. They have a couple of years to clean up their act before I completely disregard them.
Another thing that bothered me were the people voting for Kerry for solely anti-war reasons. He wasn't anti-war at all. If he had been the president for the last four years, we would have probably still ended up in Iraq. The only difference being that we might have waited longer to go into Iraq and would have probably had more world support and wouldn't be in the terrible economic and international mess we are in today. Those are just possibilities, however.

Whether you are aware of this or not, the actual results of the election aren't known yet. Actually, many states aren't even to the point if they know they will be doing recounts yet. Ohio is going to start their official count this Saturday, for instance. My suggestion for anyone reading is to never again watch or listen to CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, or anything on TV besides the occasional public broadcast. I will never again watch CNN, the erroneously labeled "liberal" station, and Fox News, the erroneously labeled "news" station. Not that I ever watched either of them in the first place.
Actually, despite anyone caring in popular media (especially Kerry?), Kerry could still win the election. There could easily be recounts in all of the swing states, not to mention some of the voting challenges occurring in some states due to the overly blatant voter fraud. Of course, it's rather difficult to find much of any information concerning the fraudulent information tactics and innumerable paperless voting machines selectively placed in particularly split states/counties. But wait, John Kerry already gave up, so even on the chance that numerous recounts happen (which may or may not happen, it takes a good chunk of money to do a recount and again, very few seem to care or even know about it), he may just let Bush be president anyway.

Despite fraud and whatnot, it's definitely a close election regardless. Just about everyone voted on the issues of the war in Iraq and "moral values," which include topics like gay marriage, abortion, and general conviction. Interestingly enough, I was reading some fascinating polls done by PIPA (www.pipa.org). About 57% of respondents thought that Iraq was directly or indirectly involved with the 9/11 attacks; of that percent, 57% said they would vote for Bush and about 39% said they would vote for Kerry.
A similar trend happens in regards to the presents of WMD's in Iraq.
It seems that people voting for Bush are simple more naive, however, I'm not sure if I can blame many of them. If you watch TV for news you had no real sense of what was going on, for the most part. All of my political research was done online and was rarely affiliated with a major corporation (though, the best section for important news in a big corporate newspaper is the editorial section of the New York Times, I kid you not), and I had a hard time even finding information about topics I wanted to know about. The politicians lied through their teeth, their websites misleading or vague, and the popular media was apparently as confused as the average voter.

Another major problem (that I found many intelligent people even fall prey to) was the Liberal vs. Conservative dilemma.

The problem being that it didn't happen. I was often told (by some elders no less) that I needed to just think and view both sides, as if because of the conclusions I came to implied that I was being simple minded.
I'd like to rebuke that claim right now, since to even tell me that is a close minded statement. The error is that people think there are simply two sides. There are many, many sides that far outweigh the "liberal" and "conservative" bias, which never really even played an important role in the first place. For example, both the Democrats and the Republicans have strong corporate biases, which often influence them more than any other bias they have (the Republicans a bit more than the Democrats, though). Media companies are often plagued by what I refer to as the ratings bias, which means that they are a company that makes money, so their first and foremost priority is to make a profit.
Also, if you believe in the merit of dictionary definitions (I do only on occasions myself), Kerry is the conservative. Bush, actually, is a right radical, otherwise referred to as a reactionary. Bush implemented a whole bunch of spending and has big plans for change, which is actually the opposite of a conservative, which is someone who wants to keeps things much the way they are, or "conserve." A liberal generally is a progressive individual who is more broad minded. I'd actually suggest that anyone who reads this look up the words liberal, conservative, liberalism, conservatism, reactionary, and radical; it's really more fascinating than you might think.

So, now are we all doomed because chimpy is a cheat?


Probably the biggest threat right now to America is our fragile economy. Here's my understanding of what can go wrong.
The Bush tax cut, while giving some initial stimulus to the economy, overall was a worthless endeavor. People seem to complain that the government should get off their backs, however, they also at the same time say that the government should put a huge amount of money into defense. Right now, defense might do us some good, since with the advent of a stock market, people's mood can directly affect the economy. If another building or two gets "terrorized," the stock market could recess simply out of people selling stocks due to fear.

Right now, China and Japan are the biggest money loaners to the USA. Believe it or not, despite Bush getting angry at Kerry for even suggesting letting another country influencing our international decisions, our lives are in the hands of a handful of Japanese and Chinese people. The "war on terror" and the "Bush Tax cut" have done little but add to the deficit, putting us further into control by countries we only vaguely get along with. Isn't that just hilarious?
Of course, if the loaners decided to stop investing, or worse, asked for some money back, most of the world economy might be taken down with us in our implosion.
Stem cell research, gay marriage, and abortion can have their time in the sun any ol' day, but if Bush doesn't put our economy on the right path, we've got a lot more things to worry about.

And the next biggest threat? Fossil fuels in controlling our country and destroying the environment. If we don't make plans to move on soon we are going to have a lot of problems later on.

My prediction for the next four years?

Well, it's really hard to tell right now. The economy could improve with or without Bush, so that's a hard one to guess.
Hopefully he will somehow help balance the budget, which could be a good first step.
If you know people that work in any field regarding Social work, prepare to help them find a new job.
If you're homosexual, all I can say is that there's no need to rush into marriage, you have worse problems anyway.
Women, I doubt birth control is going to be revoked, but don't plan on the day after pill or abortion to be readily available in the near future.
If you're in public school, that's too bad.
If you're in the military, all I can say is good luck.
If you're poor... ack, um, hang in there.

Here's a list of what I like to read on the net:
http://news.google.com (this links most popular news sites, incase you feel I don't read enough of "both sides")
http://www.nytimes.com (remember to read the editorials, always)

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Master these ways... then call me in the morning. [18 Oct 2004|08:46pm]
[ mood | awake ]

So, today I bought some food and some decent apple cider.

I decided right now that I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing, though I don't know if I have the fortitude to do anything of what I want to actually be doing.
That is, I am doing quite a bit right now, and I'm supposed to be doing well in the things I'm already preoccupied with, so maybe I just have to wait until I'm done with all of this before I add more.

Then it also occurred to me that I'll never really be done with things I don't particularly want to do; ever.

Maybe to fit in what I want to do, I have to sort out my time in such a way that I can fit time in for other things. Then again, the mediocrity of an incredibly structured life also contradicts with one of the things I desire, which is time to cultivate myself. Perhaps I could just schedule that in my day, um, somewhere.
Well, maybe I could just try it for a while and see if it's more tiring.

Oh, I rethought masturbation a bit (concerning myself). I made the realization that -whatever- the repercussions are, they are far outweighed by the escape of libidinal slavery.

Anyway, Keelor's Victorian campaign started and it's going pretty well so far. I don't have much else to say about that, except maybe that I find myself often not knowing what to do in the campaign except follow Dave and his leadership/experience/audacity. Then again, everyone in the campaign knows a vast amount more about Victorian England than I do, and my English accent needs some work. Right then.

And I think I will stop obsessing about girls; right now.

Aha! The nation of femdom will no longer haunt my dreams or partake of my deepest fears. For I think my desire simply makes me suffer, and therefore I think I really should just stop. So says I.
I think I will take up drawing instead.

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